Domestic Goddess

I was complaining this weekend as I was cleaning radishes about how much I hate cleaning radishes. I grumped about the slimy green leafy parts, the annoying rubber band, the sandy dirt, and the fact that there is always and exactly one radish too many to fit into and properly seal closed the Tupperware container. Mr. Typist commented that this was the first he was hearing about this, and yes, it is, because I am the strong, silent, stoic type and I don’t go around discussing my emotional anguish with any and all who will listen. That’s what I have a blog for. At any rate, this little moment led me to think about both domestic annoyances and domestic small joys that I don’t often reflect on. I shall start with the annoyances:

Cleaning the Shower: It’s the worst. I like having a clean shower, but I hate scrubbing soap scum with the green scratchy thing in the spots where I have no leverage, and then trying to get all of the Comet rinsed out properly so it’s not sitting stubbornly in the basin in gritty little rivulets no matter how many times I freaking run the water. It’s a good calorie burner, though.

Vacuuming: I don’t mind actually running the vacuum over the carpet, but I hate having to drag it out of the closet and unravel the big long cord and figure out where to plug it in for maximum vacuum efficiency so I can cover the whole apartment without having to unplug it and plug it in again somewhere else. And changing the bag is always shocking and disgusting, although not nearly as bad as when we had three cats.

Cleaning the Oven: I don’t do this. I’ve found it best to just buy a new oven.

I guess there aren’t that many domestic chores I truly dislike, because that’s all I could come up with. However, there are some that I find enjoyable and deeply satisfying.

Dusting with Lemon Pledge: I love the comforting scent of Lemon Pledge, and I love the satisfaction of getting the dust off of the wood furniture and seeing it all polished and gleaming. Plus it allows me to fantasize that I am rich, as though I am someone who has heirloom wood furniture that must be polished, like in the movies. I am nowhere near rich and all of the furniture is from Penney’s, but for a few minutes it’s fun.

Steam mopping: My friends, my steam mop is glorious. It turns on and warms up with a satisfying little purr, and warm steam rises as it sweeps over the floors and satisfyingly sucks up all of the dirt and grossness on the linoleum, and it has an agile swivel head so it can get around even the trickiest corner, and it cleans like a champ. And you don’t have to stick it in a bucket of dirty water and squeeze it out. It’s amazing, and I highly recommend getting one. It even comes with scent packets if you’re into that kind of thing.

Cooking: I didn’t like cooking for a long time because it made me nervous. It felt like it was a very rigid, unforgiving endeavor in which one small error would ruin everything, and I’m the not conscientious type who enjoys that kind of challenge. Other than my “famous” garlic mashed potatoes that were all the rage at Thanksgiving, I stayed away from doing much in the kitchen for a long time. But over the years, I’ve learned how to put together some decent meals now that I understand there is some wiggle room in the process and I have more confidence with timing and such. So while I don’t love cooking, I can truly say now that I don’t mind it. That’s progress!

So there you have it. I wish I could say that in another world I could have been a true domestic goddess, floating about home and hearth making all that I touch beautiful and cozy, but I’m afraid I’m fated to domestic mediocrity. That’s good enough for me!

--Kristen McHenry