Love Bombed by DAC, Retail Fail, Boxing Hustle

I have had my name on the list forever for notification that Diamond Art Club’s “Bathroom in Paris” was back in stock. I had almost given up hope, thinking that they were never going to bring it back, when boom! I got the email announcing its return. This was my big moment--the moment that I have been waiting for all of my year-long diamond painting career—my first big fancy purchase from the venerable Diamond Art Club. And they did not disappoint. The second I hit confirm on the order button, I was treated to the digital version of a coronation. They immediately sent me an invite to their “very exclusive” Face Book page, a text asking if I was happy with my ordering experience, another text asking me what kind of art I like, discount offers, free shipping offers, and multiple welcome emails. Normally all of this would annoy the heck out of me, but in this case, I fully embraced the marketing-driven love bombing. I responded to every text and jumped right in on the Facebook page, commenting and liking and oohing and ahhing over everyone’s work. (It turns out a large topic on the FB page is how to hide your purchases from your spouse, which I found delightfully scandalous.) DAC has made it very fun, and I’m really enjoying the whole phenomenon. The only downside is that I break out into a cold sweat periodically, wondering how I am going to manage a gigantic painting with over 110,000 drills and 80 colors:

On a less positive retail note, the Well-Known Fabric & Craft Store down the street from me which shall remain nameless for the purposes of this post, is not so much love-bombing their customers, or even apparently bothering to order stock for said customers to purchase. When I went in there recently to get a specific, common item, it was nowhere to be found. Rows of shelves just inside the entrance were empty but for a few sad and out-of-place Fall decorations. The whole place felt weirdly bare and they were quite obviously trying to cover up their lack of stock through creative shelving of what items they did have. Also, I was being stalked by one of their employees while I was looking at diamond paintings. He peered at me suspiciously, then snootily told me that they were closing in seven minutes and could he help me find something. I just left. No red-carpet treatment from them. I hope this is not an indicator that they are doomed to go out of business. I still need them, like a bad relationship I can’t let go of because I’m attached to the past.

Furthering this study of business opposites, yesterday was my day to volunteer at a booth representing my organization at the Big Annual Neighborhood Fish Festival. We were situated right next to a booth that was trying to market a new boxing gym, and the guy running it, “Coach Manny” as I later learned, had one of the best hustles I’ve ever seen. He got my attention and lured me into his booth with his charming patter and before I knew it, he and his partner had slipped a boxing glove onto my hand, and after a brief lesson on how to throw a punch safely, I was instructed to punch his partner (who was padded up) as hard as I could. I hit him with five aggressive punches in a row and then looked up to see my co-workers at our booth staring at me agape with a mixture of amusement and bewilderment. I guess when your work persona is Professional Nice Lady, it’s a bit of shock when you show your combative side. Anyway, I have his card should I ever want to take boxing lessons. I’m thinking about it.

—Kristen McHenry