The Stashening, Confessions of a Kale Lover, Score Sore

I used to float in a rarefied cloud of diamond-painting self-righteousness, assured in my perceived superiority that I had iron-fisted self-control and would never be one of those crafters who let themselves loose to the point that they had a massive stash they had to resort to hiding from their spouse or renting a storage space for. I had a strict, “finish one, buy one” policy and by golly I was going to stick to it. Notice the past-tense expression there. I was going to, but then there was an amazing Black Friday sale at Diamond Art Club, and then I needed material for a video I wanted to do so I had to buy some kits, and that was really, truly going to be it for a while, and then...Marine to Life came back into stock after a three-year absence, and it had been on my wish list forever, and it would be an injustice to the majesty of the piece not to buy it. All of this, and I still haven’t finished Bathroom in Paris yet. I’m becoming one of them now. The stashening has begun. Don’t be surprised if one day my bones are found buried under seven tons of unopened kits. But no matter! Look at this beauty! I had to have it:

I wrote last week about my recent return to that cult-hit farm sim classic, Stardew Valley. I’m happy to report that Krobus has finally moved into my farmhouse, and he’s a great roommate, if a little moody at times. I was on the forums to read up on the changes since I’ve been away, and I noticed a lot of people proudly posting pictures of famous dishes from the game that they had made—Pink Cake, Complete Breakfast, Lucky Lunch, etc. I was bit confused until I discovered to my absolute delight that the creator of SDV recently produced a cookbook based on the game! I was completely amazed and ordered it from Amazon immediately, and it is the most adorable cookbook I’ve ever owned, and my opinion, the only one I’m ever going to need. Anyway, the whole point is that I was determined to make a meal from it following the recipe as exactly as I could, and one them involved making a kale salad as a side. I don’t deal in kale in any way and I’ve been rightly suspicious of it my entire life. But this salad turned out to be one of the most amazing things I’ve ever eaten. I was hugely skeptical, but the recipe is pure genius.

In a nutshell, you break down and soften the kale by massaging it with olive oil for two minutes, to which you add red pepper flakes, honey, lemon, and sea salt. The oil and massaging leaves the kale chewy and flavorful and removes the bitterness, and the honey and red pepper flakes create a perfectly balanced flavor. I’ve made a big batch twice now, and the second time I went rogue and added some shaved garlic. It’s so good! We’ve been having it at each dinner as an alternative to the usual green side salad, and it’s likely to become a permanent fixture at the Typist household. And yes, I am aware of the irony in the fact that the one thing that finally got me excited about cooking is a video game.

I mentioned back in February that I took a professional credentialing exam, but I haven’t follow up on this blog since to say that I passed! It feels like it took forever to get the announcement, along with my total score, which was the equivalent of a solid B. I kept telling myself I would be happy to just to pass and that I didn’t really care about my score, but I was weirdly sore about getting a B, as though I am some test-taking whiz or I was class Valedictorian or something. I am quite far from either, and I should be completely happy with my solid B, but I wanted to feel smart, because I have I wounds, and a B wasn’t affirming enough for me. I wanted an A or an A+ or a 100%, and then I could prove to myself and God that I am intelligent and worthy. I am a middle-aged lady with 25+long successful career, and apparently this stuff still lurks within me. Unbelievable. At least I have a stash of diamond paintings to comfort me in my ongoing struggle with impostor syndrome.

--Kristen McHenry